Nursing school at the UofM (woot top 3 in the nation )
has been a wonderful and life threatening roller coaster.

Goodbye and God bless.

^at the michigan league with grandma for the reception after the ceremony

^laura. me. & tasha. natasha's huuuge family is taking up the entire background. sheesh.

^a2 is theee best

^ after this picture laura fell flat on her face in front of the hill auditorium stairs and then we had to rush her bloody face to the uofm hospital ... psych ;) this is my most favorite picture of the two of us. confused and stumbling through life.

^ my dad never walked for his masters at UofM so i offered him my hat. how academic !

sigh :*)

through two years of excellent health, the dreaded day has come: my doogie dog is sick. he woke me with with a horrible hacking noise. immediately i knew something was up. this hack is the same hacks he uses to throw up food when he's eaten too much. the throwup usually comes up after only a few hacks. the hacks that woke me up were consistent and did not result in any up puke. instead white frothy sticky sputum came up. doogie hacked for about 1.5 hours before stopping for a break. it was the most godawful pathetic scene i've had to endure through his little life. i have been awake since 4am trying to take care and comfort him. wiping away mucus, backmassages, and conversing. he is miserable. and i feel like ripping out my hair or crying. during the initial hacks i called vet emergency and they said it sounds like kennel cough. so i've got to bring him in for an appt today along with a bag of his poo. sigh. he probably got the cough from being groomed a week or so ago. i feel so guilty. i am a bad mama. i wonder if this is how mom's with kiddos that have RSV feel too. what shocked me is dan's reaction to doogie's coughs. he got mad at the dog and was not nice to him. i suppose he was extremely fearful that doogie's health was not so great. and anger was his initial reaction and defense because he wanted the situation to go away. it made me think.
*edit
i just got back from the vet and doogie has a fever of 103.1 degrees. normal dog temp should be 100 - 101. he got a dexamethazone sodium phosphate injection and oral antibiotic pills for the week. the doc also said that his tonsils & lymp nodes are inflammed and hopefully the shot will help that too aside from the fever. she said he maybe has a secondary infection from having something lodged in the throat and the hacking was to get it out. or the frequent change in mich weather from hot to cold to hot makes him susceptible to respiratory infections. she also suggested obedience classes for him. lol. and i wanted to smack her .. then thank her. i did the latter. i think im too sensitive. doogie is due for a check up in a week. hopefully in good health!

after working on the psych unit i wonder why i am often so drained. true it is not the same back breaking sort of pain and exaustion from my experience on other units. instead i feel drained emotionally and mentally. in fact, i think a little part of me shuts down after working simply bc i cannot handle anymore interactions that suck even more attention and focus out of me. it takes me the drive home to recompose, recover, and be selfish for a bit. on a cardiac unit you would have tell tale symptoms and telemonitors in order to predict the patient's condition. you can at least predict what happens during or before a code or be geared toward how patients will respond to various interventions. whereas on the psych floor you are forced to have your guard up at all times. and the patient's mental state is constatly acute and ever changing as a result. i often catch myself with my guard down during down time. this is alarming because anything could happen at anytime and daydreaming poses a huge risk for all peoples on the unit. patients react appropriatly one second and often will have the opposite reaction the second you turn around. the mode of interaction with individual patients also require consideration. i often mentally prepare situations while i am on the unit in order to test my responses, reaction time, and intervening techniques. however, inevitably there is always a span of time when i just need to take a break and think about non work related issues. in some aspects i am eager to move onto the "jaded" part of psych nursing because by then i will be more seasoned and less frantic and obsessive about providing a stable environment. there are many things you can control on the floor but never the thought processes of human beings (and by no means should this right be taken away). eventually i hope to let this neverending nervousness go. thank goodness for the wonderful and supportive staff on the floor. i am so proud to be a part of the amazing team of pros and soon to be upping my position as a psychiatric RN :D

well hello & i hope you've all been well . im nearing the end of my college career and the stress just seems to mount with each week . stress from projects, papers, friends, and worrying about the future . i esp do not need the added stress of drama amonst my small and incredibly close ring o friends . there is one individual who specializes in fiascos and mischief . it is difficult to be friendly with her not because our personalities conflict, in fact they mesh pretty well, but it is because her values, belief system, and especially her actions are not in harmony with mine . total avoidance and uninvolvement is not an option since the others in the group are "friendly" with her although they also share my same opinions . so inevitably she must be in close vicinity of me ... most of the times . and it irritates my mood ... all of the times . in addition to the drama she causes (which inevitably falls on me like a domino effect and this has been a no fail outcome despite my attempts at avoidance) , it irks and frustrates me that others continue this unhealthy relationship . i do not believe in leading people on whether romantically or friendtically. and i never play imaginary friends . it is unfair to all subjected parties and most unfair to the one with the blanket over his or her eyes . what time is it? it is most definetly time to wake up and smell the war of the roses .

today my graduation present is finally official and i am so happy to shout at the top of my lungs MY FIRST PLACE ! mind you i am the co-owner and responsible for paying off the place too but it would NOT have been possible without the help of my parents. and plus plus plus to make life even more wonderful my bestest nursing chica has also secured an official position TODAY on my very unit. we will be together forever!!! OMG ITS GOING TO BE INSANE. pun heavily intended. pictures to come soon :D and a belated birthday shoutout to my cousin charlene in taiwan!!!