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so me and my pal were talking about that new show "Daybreak" where the basis of the show is that the day repeats over and over again for this dude. well . i already feel like that happens to me everyday. and would it really be SOO bad to repeat the day over? i feel that that would give me free reign on anything i wanted to do. i could go to france in a day. but then i guess i would never make it to taiwan. which would be really sad. but it would give me a chance just to see how much i could get away with everyday. if i were tested i would do more bad than good just for fun of course. human nature right? well for right now nurture is what's keeping me in good control. sometimes i wish i could just speak my mind as is or scream and act irrational w/out any consequences. that repeated days stuff sounds good to me bc with it comes fresh starts. i can't really think of anything bad in repeating days. i have nothing to complain about in my humdrum life ... o my lord is this really all there is ??? i want to go jump out of a plane. i want to fire a gun. i want to go deep sea diving. i want to be lost on an island. but i bet i will do none. humdrum. what i need to do is stop watching movies and tv.

Royal Caribbean Cruisemonarch of the seas


eee!! jan 7th - 12th w ning, sandy, & ting.

taking care of and being responsible for six (mentally ill) individuals is a lot of work. its six grown up adult kids i have to run around after and tend to. they are like babies. it is amazing how adults can regress so much into their childhood. it is also amazing to see people who cannot cope with anger but be able to cope & find humor when in pain. and it is so scary and disheartening when you find out your patient is a level 4 pedophile. and it feels weird and wrong when you try to talk to them about suicide ideation or depresson ... bc inside im desperately trying to keep the vomit down. and im feeling like i don't care if he/she lives or dies but just get the fuck out of my face and off my unit. i forgot to eat and go peepee today. nevertheless, i am grateful for my job (im learning alot about human beings and specifically me as one) and i am really VERY lucky. tomorrow will be all about ME & family :)

slurp

ooo i really want all these pairs. that would burn a $200 hole in my account :( maybe i will get ONE pair. i really like the first four the best. i will have to catch them all i suppose. 200 bucks for 4 pairs of fall shoes is really not bad.

i am so sad to leave my birkenstocks behind. they are like second skin and a bad habit because i wear them with ALL my outfits ANYWHERE. anytime it gets warm the soles of my feet to the skin between my toes ache to slip on that cow skin and feel the bump that fits so perfect under the ball of my foot. as soon as i stand up it disappears and my feet feel all naked. and i also like to tip my body back and forth to feel the sandals underneath. my birks have also got ice cream drops leftover from the summer.

hehe. sigh. hello fall .

today at work a really old lady patient started screaming incoherently at the top of her lungs in her room. i rushed in and tried to calm her down. then i left. and i was talking to a co-worker about how bloated her stomach was and maybe she was in pain bc her stomach just looked so large and distorted. she took one look at me and said "you do realize that was her boob you've been staring at right?" omg that thing was popping out of her gown and so big it masqueraded as a stomach.

i was tricked!