after working on the psych unit i wonder why i am often so drained. true it is not the same back breaking sort of pain and exaustion from my experience on other units. instead i feel drained emotionally and mentally. in fact, i think a little part of me shuts down after working simply bc i cannot handle anymore interactions that suck even more attention and focus out of me. it takes me the drive home to recompose, recover, and be selfish for a bit. on a cardiac unit you would have tell tale symptoms and telemonitors in order to predict the patient's condition. you can at least predict what happens during or before a code or be geared toward how patients will respond to various interventions. whereas on the psych floor you are forced to have your guard up at all times. and the patient's mental state is constatly acute and ever changing as a result. i often catch myself with my guard down during down time. this is alarming because anything could happen at anytime and daydreaming poses a huge risk for all peoples on the unit. patients react appropriatly one second and often will have the opposite reaction the second you turn around. the mode of interaction with individual patients also require consideration. i often mentally prepare situations while i am on the unit in order to test my responses, reaction time, and intervening techniques. however, inevitably there is always a span of time when i just need to take a break and think about non work related issues. in some aspects i am eager to move onto the "jaded" part of psych nursing because by then i will be more seasoned and less frantic and obsessive about providing a stable environment. there are many things you can control on the floor but never the thought processes of human beings (and by no means should this right be taken away). eventually i hope to let this neverending nervousness go. thank goodness for the wonderful and supportive staff on the floor. i am so proud to be a part of the amazing team of pros and soon to be upping my position as a psychiatric RN :D

well hello & i hope you've all been well . im nearing the end of my college career and the stress just seems to mount with each week . stress from projects, papers, friends, and worrying about the future . i esp do not need the added stress of drama amonst my small and incredibly close ring o friends . there is one individual who specializes in fiascos and mischief . it is difficult to be friendly with her not because our personalities conflict, in fact they mesh pretty well, but it is because her values, belief system, and especially her actions are not in harmony with mine . total avoidance and uninvolvement is not an option since the others in the group are "friendly" with her although they also share my same opinions . so inevitably she must be in close vicinity of me ... most of the times . and it irritates my mood ... all of the times . in addition to the drama she causes (which inevitably falls on me like a domino effect and this has been a no fail outcome despite my attempts at avoidance) , it irks and frustrates me that others continue this unhealthy relationship . i do not believe in leading people on whether romantically or friendtically. and i never play imaginary friends . it is unfair to all subjected parties and most unfair to the one with the blanket over his or her eyes . what time is it? it is most definetly time to wake up and smell the war of the roses .

today my graduation present is finally official and i am so happy to shout at the top of my lungs MY FIRST PLACE ! mind you i am the co-owner and responsible for paying off the place too but it would NOT have been possible without the help of my parents. and plus plus plus to make life even more wonderful my bestest nursing chica has also secured an official position TODAY on my very unit. we will be together forever!!! OMG ITS GOING TO BE INSANE. pun heavily intended. pictures to come soon :D and a belated birthday shoutout to my cousin charlene in taiwan!!!

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OMG !! I JUST GOT THE BESTEST GRADUATION PRESENT EVEEERRRRR LAST NIGHT & I AM SO!!OO NERVOUS AND EXCITED !!!!!! MY PARENTS ARE MORE THAN WONDERFUL THEY ARE SUPER DUPER AWESOMELY BAD !!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! ... SOMEBODAY PINCH ME ..

happy new year ! we had a cozy get-together at dan's condo. the place was spiced up with decor. doogie was much excited amonst the balloons. you can see him looking at me making a balloon in the first pic. thanks to dan and matt for blowing up allll the balloons. they also invented a contraption to hold balloons at the top of the balcony (to be released at midnight). sadly the balloons got stuck up there and had to be manually released. nice try boys. the drinks robert and roxanna made were sooo good. champagne and guava juice with orange sides. we had tons of food spanning from smoky sausages, chocolate cake, chocolate fruitcake?, chocolate cupcakes, chips, ect. yummy!

[group] roxanna, rob, dan, steve, matt, and nancy

[girls] kristen, me, nancy, and roxanna.

here is everyone playing poker. we bought an entire stash of bottle rockets that made it sound as if guns were going off in the house (you can see the stuff in the first two pics on the table. that whole flask is filled to the brim w bottle rockets). it made a mess. omg. sooo loud, dangerous, and most important - awesome. i thought we were going to light something on fire too. haha somehow rob was forced into the dummy corner while me and kristen grin evily. the dude next to kristen is her bf dana. and they are reading books. boo! i wish i had taken more action pictures during midnight but lots of footage was captured on video. o wells. send to me ppl !

there were party favors with glowsticks and lots of candy for our guests. muah! hoonie's nose is squished. i hope everyone has a wonderful lucky new year! i know many wonderful things are going to happen this year and it makes me want to pee just thinking about it all!